Ranting #42

Forecast: A much more lousy week ahead

last week was term break but i spent almost everyday in school doing lab, studying... haiz... a break that requires me to be in school most of the time... super sianz... think i dun have a life... everything revolves around work work and more work... haiz... no time for movies (i wanna watch the myth!!!) and animes... haiz... think i need 48 hours a day to finish my work... haiz...

went for the nokia starlight movies yesterday watching harry potter and the chamber of secrets... got stars initially lah... but clouds starts to gather halfway thru the show... no more stars le... but think i rather spend 10 bucks sitting in a cinema, enjoying the cushiony seats and the air-con than to sit in the middle of padang on my very flat butt... luckily no one smokes around the area...

i wanna eat strawberry shortcake!!! anyone who wanna meet me pls buy a piece for me k... been craving for one for a very long time le... i dun care if it's sinful or fattening... i just want my strawberry shortcake...

last week was lousy for me emotionally... but no shedding of tears as i have grown wiser... learning to let go of the unhappy stuff and re-learning how to make myself happy again... retail therapy always work... chocs and cakes helped significantly... not forgetting my watermelons, oranges, kiwis and of cos a good workout always reduces unhappiness and stress... think this term break let me re-organise my life slightly... define my goals and let me know my priorities...

coming week will be busy... need to do lotsa lab work again and oso need to research for my arts project... haven even start on my revision for test... haiz... dunno whether i will be able to go for my mom's friend's daughter wedding dinner on sat... haiz... think i really need 48 hours a day...

Ranting #41

Forecast: Lousy week ahead...

next week is term break... or i shld say it actually starts today... all the way til thursday... meaning that the lectures will resume on friday.... sometimes i really wonder why nus is so so so interesting to actually have a 5-day term break which starts on SUNDAY... haiz...

anyway... anyone who thinks that term break is a time to relax and catch up with work is ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!! seems like i will be super busy this break and have to go school almost everyday... no time to even touch on my term paper... let alone study for the upcoming tests... haiz... poor me...

all these stress actually led me to break down on friday... absolutely demoralised and have no motivation to do work... seirye can say her motivation to work is her jc... but i dun even have a motivation... haiz...

last week was a lousy week... uncle passed away last sunday... EnEn hospitalised on the same day... poor mom have to run from SGH to NUH... haiz... mom busy = me busy... so no time to even go lab and do work... haiz... no time to eat... no time for anything...

things changed... the NUH that i have been to changed a great deal since the last time i stepped inside... maybe that was a good 10 or more years back... but the tea party which i like to go to changed too... even though the last time i went was most prob feb or march... haiz... things will never stay the same all the time... to think abt equilibrium... haiz...

been losing weight... have not been eating much lately... have not slept enuff lately... have not done a lot of stuff lately... now my life's in a big mess... wonder when i have the time to re-organise myself... haiz... i'm simply no longer the person whom i used to be...

been listening to too much jazz and oldies... felt super old... not to mention being the aunt of many many people out there... and being called an auntie on the bus after being seen carrying lele... old old me...

today's mid-autumn festival... time to eat mooncakes... but no appetite... haiz... wish everyone have fun today... eat more...

Random tots #38

Been busy lately doing labs and tutorials and assignments... been thinking too much lately too...

tots that came to my mind...

• the end of one is the beginning of another... one thing ends... another will start all over again...
• things that look wonderful on the outside might not be wonderful deep inside... never judge a book by its cover... and when someone seems overly happy... he/she might be depressed deep down inside...
• time and tide waits for no man...
  

been feeling real lousy lately... feel stupid... feel alienated... feel lonely... feel busy...

learnt that i have been spewing nonsense lately... seldom think before i say things... always make things turn out badly... maybe i should learn to shut up and think more...
learnt that i have not been using my brain lately... cannot understand even the most simple logic...
learnt that i can be independent and not relay on others... esp mudpie... prefer to shop alone... do things alone... being more and more like a hermit...
learnt that i have lost the ability to communicate with others... even mudpie...
learnt that people like to give empty promises... promising this and that this moment yet forgetting it the very next minute...
learnt that i don't deserve much time from someone i hope to get some attention from...

been feeling real lonely lately... emotional and sad...

i wish i could be happier...

Ranting #40

I'm back... with a vengenance too...

weeks have passed since school starts and i have been very very busy trying to catch up with everything... think too used to the slack IA life that my studying pace is all messed up now... have to start working real hard...

think me haven talk abt the modules that i'm taking this sem... i am taking 5 modules... but one of them is the fyp which is 8 modular credits (MC)... which is like 2 modules since one normal module has only 4 MCs...
okie... the 5 are...

1. the fyp, which i'll be doing characterisation of particulate matter and their deposition rates... but this is mainly on traffic exhaust...
2. one design project which i have to learn to use programs to optimise and reduce waste and do pollution prevention within a chemical process
3. one very basic environmental engineering and principles module which seems to be the summary of my 1st 3 yrs in ev...
4. one very challenging industrial wastewater treatment module where i will have to come up with a theorectical design for an industrial water treatment plant...
5. and the last module being a chinese history and literature elective...

haha... think i'm actually crazy to take the last module which is the chinese module... actually its taught in english... and i have got lots to read for every lecture and tutorial... haiz... the module actually span over a period of a few thousand years of china, starting with the neolithic period... for those who dunno... neolithic means stone age... haiz...

now the chinese lecture is on qin and han dynasty... think both are very interesting... but think people in ancient times were very cruel and they like to have wars and fighting... but at least thru this module i get to know more abt china and her history... history is always interesting to study but difficult to score... esp with my limited memory... hahaha...

lemme share something that i learnt from lecture yesterday... it's actually from another school of tot... (the very famous school of tot is Confucian school...) it's the Sophists or the Dialecticians...

马者，所以命形也。白者，所以命色也。命色者非命形也，故曰白马非马。

well well... shall not tell u guys the meaning of the above phrase... interested then call me to ask me bah... provided i still remember that is...

okie... fyp requires me to do lotsa stuff... and the best part is i'll be doing it with someone from School of Design and Environment (SDE)... and she actually collected the samples i need and all i need to do is to do the chemical analysis part... that actually saved me a lot of time... really grateful to her... and she readily shares her literature review stuff with me too... really love her lots...

haiz... enuff of school work as i have been facing them very single moment lately... another thing that takes up much of my time recently is the shopping part... cos mudpie has got this esprit cash voucher which he gave to me.... yet after shopping in esprit many many times, i cannot find something i like or i think worth the price... so instead... not wanting to waste those vouchers... i actually bought socks which i need very much since i have to wear shoes to lab often... haiz...

think too long never blogged and actually have a lot to say... but haiz... think lazy me just give up bah... but something that i must mention is the jap curry restaurant that i went to recently... they serves wonderful jap curry... and the wonderful part is that jap curry has no coconut milk... haha... the place is at city hall... beside the old MPH building there... restaurant name is Curry Favor... nice nice place...

another thing that pops up in my mind while i was talking abt the curry was abt the treat my chinese classmates gave me and regina... was at a place in Chinatown but food there wasn't totally fantastic... but anyway... we went wondering ard chinatown and went to the Indian temple there... The Sri Mariamman temple... realised hinduism is so interesting... maybe when i'm free i shld read up on hinduism already... hahaha...

think i've crapped enuff... maybe i shld blog when i'm bored or sick of studying bah... but realised mark saeys is not as bad as what tax says he is... he gives quite interesting lectures mah... maybe the lecture content was different so cannot compare bah...

me must start to mug le... last year already... haiz...